Be Thoughtful

I have the best husband ever! This morning, he told me what time he would be home before kissing me goodbye. When his plans changed, he contacted me apologizing for the change and asking if it was okay. That is so thoughtful and I really appreciate this.

Create Fond Memories

My parents have been happily married for decades, and still are crazy about each other after all these years. They do things together, express their love for each other, and make love every chance they get. How do I know this? From my mom. We are extremely close and open. Nothing is off limits. She once told me, "Your father is a sex maniac." Hmmm. Nice to know where I got it from!

Not a day goes by that I don't try to follow in their footsteps and have the kind of marriage that they have. I have noticed that they share many great times that make for fond memories to look back on. So I try to do the same thing with Rueben. Rueben went away on business to Washington, DC for a week. On his last night in DC, I made the trip to see him, so we could have some romantic times, share in the joy of each other's company, and make love. I traveled 3 hours to see him. It was well worth it. I loved seeing him and creating fond memories with him. It was wonderful. I arrived on Friday evening via train, and we left together on Saturday late morning by car. Every moment was so special. He lovingly met me at the gate at Union Station and greeted me so warmly, so passionately upon my arrival. It made me feel great. Then we went out to have a romantic meal at one of the finest restaurants I have ever been to. Then we made love in such an erotic, yet tender and loving way. It was excellent. The next morning we had a wonderful brunch in the same fantastic restaurant, then we made the long trip back (it takes more time to drive than to take the train). We were not done with the memories. We had a fabulous time together in the car, talking, laughing, singing, holding hands, and listening to satellite radio. That's not all. We did not go straight home. We went on a date. Our first stop was a friend's barbecue, and our second stop was an upscale steakhouse. When we finally did return home, we thanked God for what a wonderful time we had. Of course we also praised the Lord for safe travels.

No two days together should be alike. Create fond memories to strengthen your marriage.

Share Your Faith

Rueben is out of town on business. But we still have been keeping in touch about our mutual faith in Christ. I told him how things went at our church, and he let me know how things went at the church he visited in the Washington, DC area. What he shared about his experience at church was very encouraging and inspiring.

Share That You Miss Each Other

This morning, the first thing I saw on my BlackBerry was a message from Rueben with a photo of him. The message was that he was thinking of me and the picture was a photo of him wearing a robe. He never ever wears a robe. But he wore one this morning to show he missed me. I was so touched. I wrote to him that I missed him and he wrote back that he misses me too.

Stay Together When Apart

My tip for today is to find ways to stay together during time apart. Rueben is on a business trip that he left for today, but that didn't stop him from calling me three times today. He called to say he arrived safely, to give me his hotel information, and to tell me how it went when he called my dad (it is my dad's birthday today). Talking to him that often really helped me to feel close to him even though miles separate us. Another thing that helped me feel close to him was thinking back about what he did the night before he left. The night before he left he made love to me in such an exciting way, that it was like being in a movie. That'll hold me during the nights alone!

Share Your Victory

I have been studying for a big exam for the past several weeks. It all came to a head this afternoon. The test was long and intense. It had 160 questions, most of which were worded in a confusing way. But I remained calm, I prayed for a miracle, and never gave up. The answers came to me one after another. I passed. I was so happy not only to share with Rueben my great victory, but I also let him know that I couldn't do it without him. I shared the news and shared the credit.

Support

Recently, my husband shared my latest album, "Tospy Turvy," with a friend. This friend loved the CD and expressed a desire to help my music career. Of course, I thanked the friend for his support, but I also thanked my husband for sharing my music with him. My husband replied he was glad to do it. With Rueben, I feel anything is possible, thanks to his love, devotion, and support.

Small Gestures Go a Long Way

A few days ago, I was strolling down the street and came upon one of those Hallmark stores. I went in and asked if they have anything that says basically I love you so much and I am glad we got married. It was Hallmark. So of course they had a whole section for that! I read several, found the right one, added my personal touch, then left it with the day's mail. My husband was pleased and touched. Then yesterday, when he came to pick me up for our date (I learned from my happily married parents to never stop dating), he surprised me with a gorgeous bouquet of gigantic sunflowers (my favorite kind of flowers). Small gestures, a card, flowers, a love note, putting away the groceries, and other things that show you care can go a long way in ensuring your relationship is fulfilling and that it goes the distance.

Reach Out

I had a difficult morning this morning, and was tempted to suffer in silence. Instead, I reached out to my husband and he was there to help me through it. I appreciate that I am not alone. I am glad I was vulnerable enough to take the chance to reach out to him and I am, of course, glad that he responded with such love and support.

Share Great News Immediately

One of the marks of a great friendship, is also the mark of a strong marriage: when something wonderful happens, you want to share it with someone special. I experienced that today. Something really wonderful happened, and I let my husband know about it right away. He quickly wrote back to congratulate me. I appreciate so much that he is there to share my triumphs.

Go on Dates

This weekend, Rueben and I went out twice. We went to the movies on Friday, and we went out to dinner on Saturday. The movie was an extraordinary story about a married couple going through some issues, "The Kids Are Alright." And the dinner was at a romantic Italian restaurant on the Upper East Side. We had a magnificent time on both dates. I follow a great model in this regard. My parents have been in love for decades and still go on dates.

Be Attentive to Each Other's Needs

On Saturday night, I set the alarm for 6 a.m. because I wanted to prepare for an exam I am taking soon. The alarm went off, but I was in such a deep sleep, I did not notice. Rueben noticed but didn't wake me up. Later when I woke up, I told him if anything like that happens again, to definitely make an effort to rouse me out of my slumber. This morning, he woke me up before the alarm even sounded. I really appreciated that he was attentive to my needs. Also, I recently asked him to surprise me with a sexual advance when I least expected it. He really delivered on this need too. Being attentive to the needs of your partner can really help to strengthen your bond.

Make Time for Each Other

It is very important to, no matter how hectic your schedule, make time to spend with your wife or husband. This must be a priority so he or she knows how much you value him or her. This afternoon and evening, I had a lot to do, but took a break just to sit with Rueben while he watched a show about baseball and to have some salad together. These two simple gestures helped our relationship, as they let him know that I want and choose to spend time together.