The Secret

I recently mentioned to a stranger that my husband and I just celebrated three years of marriage. He asked what is our secret. I replied that we make each other laugh a lot and we always communicate openly. If there is something bothering either of us, we speak up immediately so that the issue can be quickly resolved. Nothing is off limits. Religion. Sex. Politics. Money. You name it.

Have a Busy Social Life Outside of Your Marriage

It is extremely important to spend quality time with your spouse. But it is also important that you you do not depend on your spouse to keep you entertained 24/7. That would be too much pressure on your spouse and also not healthy for you. Being busy with your friends now and then, keeps you balanced and also makes you more intriguing to your spouse. It is hard to take someone for granted who is not sitting around waiting to be invited out somewhere. Or even better, someone who is so busy that it is imperative to ask you out well in advance. It is true when dating and it remains true after marriage.

Don't Underestimate the Importance of Touch

My husband and I have always had very different schedules, but lately, things have become even more hectic than before, making our times together rare. But the other night, when we had some long-overdue time togerher, my husband did something that was so simple, yet so profound. He gently caressed my ankles for about 2 hours straight. It may not sound like much, but the fact that he was touching me in a way that was not sexual, but rather intimate and sensual really made me feel close to him. He touched me and everything changed! So do not underestimate the importance of touch in your relatiohship.

Remember You Are a Team

I once read somewhere that TEAM stands for together everyone achieves more. This is true with sports, this is true in business, and this is also true in marriage. When everything you do and say is determined by the assumption that you are in it together, a great relationship results. When you are a team, you communicate clearly and with humility. When you are a team, you choose your battles and know when to remain silent because something in the scheme of things is not that important. When you are a team it is you and your spouse as a united front against the world. When you are a team you stand together, you pray together, you make unity a priority and never take each other for granted. If you always keep in mind you are a team, great things are possible. So never forget that you are a team.

Make Your Anniversary a Special Event

Yesterday was our second wedding anniversary. Even though, I just had my hair done on Saturday, I decided to return to the salon to get a spectacular look for our anniversary as well. I also did my nails and wore my best jewelry. Rueben looked his best too and I told him how sexy I thought he was. We went to our favorite restaurant and had a fantastic time. We told each other how much we love each other and that if we had it to do again, we would get married all over again. Later, when we were home, we made love with both passion and an unmistakeable tenderness. It was so special. It certainly did not seem like a Monday, although that is what the calendar read. It felt like we extended the weekend!

Be Willing to Be Vulnerable

Recently, a childhood friend tragically died before his time. Ever since then, I have been depressed and have had a hard time functioning. I could have suffered in silence, but instead I have let my husband know what a difficult time I have been having and how I need his support. Last night, for example, he held me in his arms and soothed me for as long as I needed (about a half an hour). If you need something, ask for it.

Keep the Lines of Communication Open

I had something on my mind that had been bothering me about my husband. But instead of having quiet reservations, I told my husband about it, to take away its power. It worked. I am glad I told him and grateful at his response--to address the issue directly and turn a problem into a pleasure.