Never Underestimate the Power of Oral Sex

My husband and I both recognize that oral sex is a profound way to express love. Last night we both approached each other to engage in this fun, envigorating, and selfless way of showing how much we mean to each other. Let me tell you it is a powerful statement to make to someone, especially if you go at it until your mouth hurts! Now THAT is dedication! I would also recommend letting your partner come in your mouth. It is extremely flattering and erotic to do so. You are a fantasy come true when you "do for love what others only do for pay,"as I say in my song, "Your Complexities." There are many reasons why a woman or man would stray. One of the many reasons is the person's husband or wife wasn't into doing something sexually that is very important to their partner. I think that there should be absolutely no limits. So go down to keep things spicy and happy.

Make Up Quickly

Yesterday, I asked my husband out on a date. We went on that date tonight. It was so romantic. I wore one of my sexiest dresses, the same dress that I am wearing in my new music video that can be seen on You Tube, and my distinctive White Linen perfume. He noticed, and complimented me. We had dinner at our favorite restaurant, La Moutarde on Fifth Avenue, in Park Slope. That place has a wonderful atmosphere, great food, good service, and is always a great experience, plus it is always a treat seeing our friend, Bruno, who is the owner. After we left the restaurant and came home, he made love to me as the perfect ending to a romantic evening.

You would never know it, but earlier in the day, we had a sharp dispute and were very upset with each other. But we put an end to our argument by relying on God to help us to make up quickly. I wrote an e-mail to him that I did not want to argue any more because in the second chapter of Philippians, God commands, "Do everything without complaining or arguing." I am happy to report that that was the end of the argument. I am also happy to report that it was only our second disagreement in three years, not a bad record at all.

In the middle of an argument, try to find a way to stop arguing, as it is not worth it. Too much damage can be done by going on and on with a dispute. It is better to find a way to make up and make love than to stubbornly dig in your heels and make something out of nothing or make a big deal out of something that could be somehow resolved. I told Rueben that I love him and that I did not want to continue the argument. He agreed and that was it. When we saw each other for our date tonight, all the bad feelings were long gone and we treated each other like we were newly dating. We talked, we kissed, we enjoyed each other's company, and we showed that our relationship was more important than any disagreement.

Humilty

There is a scripture in the Bible that reads, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." This is great advice for dealing with strangers, friends, enemies, and with your life partner. When you consider your partner to be better than yourself and are humble with him or her, you do not hesitate to serve him or her. Having the heart of a servant will help you to show how deeply you love that person.

I will give you two examples from this afternoon. After church, Rueben and I went to the church cafe and got some lunch. After lunch, I grabbed my tray and his to empty them. He thanked me. I was glad to do it. I did it with a cheerful heart. Also, he bought a bunch of Jenny Craig food for himself this morning (we are both members). When we got home, he went to the bathroom. While he was in the bathroom, I gladly put all his food away. He came looking for me afterwards to express his appreciation. I think having the attitude of Christ will help us to have a strong marriage with happy years ahead of us. There is another similar scripture that reads, "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus, who, being in very nature, God, did not consider equality of God something to be grasped, but took on the nature of a servant." Amen! If God can serve me, the least I can do is be like-minded and be a servant myself.

Be Playful

Last night, when my husband and I went to get some sleep, We talked for a little while in the darkness of our bedroom, then we wished each other goodnight. We hugged and kissed each other then we closed our eyes to get some rest. But while Rueben started to drift off right away, I felt wide away and restless. Something made me start poking at him like we were kids playing a game or something. I poked his butt, his back, his butt again, and started laughing hysterically! He laughed too and said I was being mischievous. Then he suddenly started having sex with me. If I hadn't been in such a playful mood, this wouldn't have happened. We kept having sex, laughing, and talking. We just loved it.

Be Each Other's Fans

I often talk to others I meet about how wonderful my husband is. I tell people not only that he is great to me, which he is, but also about how intelligent he is. He does the same for me. That makes it easy for us to both share with each other our triumphs and challenges. Because we are each other's biggest fans, we always have support in all that we do and that we try to accomplish. Today, the first thing I thought to do after writing to venues around town to perform with my jazz band of all-stars was tell my husband all about it. I couldn't wait to share the news with him. He is my lover, my friend, and my biggest fan. I am his as well. I encourage you and your spouse to be each other's fans too. Cheer each other on. Pray for each other's success. And help each other. There is a great line from one of my favorite films, "Henry and June," in which Anais Nin says to Henry Miller, "The world will give us plenty of beatings. What we need is each other's support." This resonates for me. I hope it does for you too.

Little Things

There is an old saying that "the little things mean a lot." I totally agree with that. Grand gestures are romantic, sweet, and so wonderful. But little things day by day go a long way to making your relationship flourish. My husband and I both did little things today that we both appreciateed. Let me share with you what those little things included: we wished each other a great day when we parted this morning, kept in touch throughout our busy day via our BlackBerries, and greeted each other warmly at the end of the day. Little things like those can really draw you closer to your partner and add joy to your life together.

Bring Out the Best

Today, I was procrastinating instead of preparing for an exam I have to take this week. I knew I was going down the wrong path. In order to turn things around, I tapped away on my BlackBerry, reaching out for help from my husband. While I was in the middle of writing a message asking for him to talk some sense into me, I realized that what I really needed to do was pray, so I turned an e-mail to my husband into a prayer asking for God to help. Well, in the middle of that prayer, my mom called and told me to look at Romans 8:28-end of the chapter. It didn't ring a bell, but it should have. It turned out to be one of my favorite scriptures. It says many things, but the point is I am more than a conquerer with Christ's help. God intervened, but it really touched me that things turned around when I decided to write to my husband. It is great to have someone to turn to in times of trouble who helps to turn around difficult situations. If your spouse is having a bad day, can he or she count on you to help turn things around? Writing to Rueben helped me to realize what I should do is pray, and praying led to my mom calling, which led to the powerful, life-changing scripture. I am glad I can count on my husband to bring out the best in me and help me to do what is right.