We Are One, Yet Two

A friend of my husband and I wanted us to do something for him. He wanted to know if we could do it. Rather than answer for the two of us, I directed our friend to ask my husband directly to obtain his response. I did this because it would be what I would want my husband to do under similar circumstances. We are one, in terms of our unity, but we are two, in terms of responding to questions. I would not presume to answer on my husband's behalf unless it was on an issue we previously discussed.

Give a Public Shout Out

It is great to whisper sweet nothings in your spouse's ear. But it is also wonderful to publicly state your devotion. This public statement is a sure way to show how proud you are to be together. It can be as old school as saying "I love you" over dinner with friends, or as high tech as saying it on your spouse's wall on Facebook. I have done both.

Don't Take Flirting Too Far

I do not think there is anything wrong with harmless flirting with someone besides your partner. But if it crosses the line into the danger zone, it should be put to death immediately. This is what happened to with me this afternoon and I confessed it as soon as I saw my husband this evening. He forgave me and I assured him it will not happen again.

Engage in Sensual Touch

One of the ways that Rueben and I stay connected to each other is by touching each other in sensual ways. Sometimes he strokes my back over and over for several minutes to help me to relax. Other times, I run my fingers through his hair or gently cradle his face. We also stroke each other's arms. All this affection deepens our connection. Sensual touch is a profound expression of love and affection.

Share Your Victory

One of the great joys of being married is having someone to share with when something great happens. Today was no exception. Two days ago, I wrote a letter to the editor of the New York Daily News. Today it was published. Right away, I e mailed my husband about it. Right away, he wrote back enthusiastically congratulating me. In case you want to read what I wrote it is on page 38 ("Voice of the People").

Remember That "I Love You" Never Gets Old

I have come to greatly appreciate that my husband tells me and shows me he loves me every single day. He never tires of letting me know how he feels and I never tire of knowing it. Sometimes I see a relationship on television or in the movies where there is a couple in which one of the people is disappointed that the other person avoids the "L" word. In Ghost, when Demi Moore's character says "I love you," Patrick Swayze's character replies "Ditto." Or if the person does use the 'L" word it is in a noncommital way, like "I love spending time with you." I thank God that Rueben is not like that. I cherish every single day with him for many reasons, not the least of which that he always lets me know what is in his heart. And needless to say I do likewise.

Get and Stay Healthy Together

The USDA announced today that the food pyramid is out and the plate is in. Visit myplate.gov for more details. It reminds me of my relationship with my husband. Almost the entre time we have known each other, we have been striving to make wise choices for meals, beverages, and snacks. We both are members of a gym, and when our schedule permits, we work out together. When it doesn't permit, we exercise separately. Whether we eat at home or eat out, we encourage each other to make choices we can be proud off. We love each other and want each other to live as long as possible so we take care of ourselves and each other.