Keep in Touch

A few moments can go a long way. My husband and I both have extremely demanding schedules, but we always take a few moments throughout the day to reach out to each other. We e-mail each other about how our day is unfolding via our BlackBerries. If things are great we cheer each other on, and if things are not going well we spur each other on. It is so great that we can touch base this way and stay in touch with each other.

A Team

I once read somewhere that TEAM stands for together everyone achieves more. It was more than ten years ago and I have never forgotten it. Today, my husband and I made a great team. We woke up together at 6 a.m., left the house at 7 a.m., and set off to our godson's apartment. My best friend Kim, her young son Joshua, and her older son Justin were to be ready at 7:30 a.m. awaiting our arrival to pick them up to go to church together. Kim asked me last night to call when I was on the way, so she would know when to come down to meet us in front of Justin's building. I called as she asked, as Rueben listened to the GPS on one of his BlackBerries (he has two). Long story short, Kim and Joshua finally came down at 7:50 a.m. or so. But we were just glad to see them. Because we were not upset about waiting, and instead were talking, laughing, singing and dancing in our seats, the whole experience was fun. Justin finally appeared about 20 minutes later. We were just happy to see them and didn't mind that they had kept us waiting. I think Rueben and I made a great team in what could have been a much different scenerio. I love that we fit together like Splenda and fresh strawberries. Delicious!

In Action and in Truth

Today was a big day for me. I had an important presentation in midtown. I prepared intellectually, spiritually, and physically. I was ready. Before leaving the house my husband and I prayed about my presentation. He encouraged me and I left the house with a boost of confidence that comes from both Christ and my husband having my back. Well, the presentation was wonderful. Fantastic. As soon as it was over, I pulled out my BlackBerry to tell my husband and my circle of close friends the great news via a triumphant e-mail. Guess who was the first person to write back congratulating me? You guessed it. Rueben knows exactly how to love deeply from the heart. There is a scripture in the bible that commands us to not love in word and tongue, but with actions and in truth. That is the way he loves me and that is the way I love him back. I told him how much it means to me that he is cheering for me and wanting me to do not just well, but phenomenal. And it did not just stop with e-mails on our BlackBerries. We spoke about it too. He was brimming with happiness for me and I was so appreciative of his support. He made a big day for me into a great day for US. My triumphs are his triumphs. And his victories are my victories. We are one.

Humility

There is a scripture in the Holy Bible that reads, "God opposes the proud, and gives grace to the humble." Well, we could all use grace, and we certainly don't want to be opposed by God, do we! This scripture comes to mind as I reflect on what almost became an argument with Rueben, but what instead brought us closer together.

A couple of weeks ago, I registered for an online course to prepare for a New York State licensing exam in Life and Health Insurance. I need to pass an exam before an employer who thinks I am just wonderful can hire me to work in his firm. The material is extremely dense and complicated. Usually, I am highly motivated to study. And thank God, so far, I have been doing very well in the course. But all weekend long, I blew it off. When Rueben noticed I hadn't been studying, he was concerned. He warned me not to "drag it out."

Once he said that, pride, hurt, and anger collided. "Drag it out? That means I haven't studied on purpose! But it wasn't on purpose," I said, raising my voice. He said he didn't agree with me and I said I didn't agree with him. Just as things were about to deteriorate, I abruptly said,"Let's just agree to disagree."Then that was the end of it. Or so I thought. Soon after that we kissed goodnight and he went to bed. I stayed up a bit. I decided to put our disagreement to a vote. I wrote to my girlfriends and copied him asking them if someone said to you that you had dragged something out, would you think he meant you did so accidentally or intentionally.

My best friend Kim, had the first response, and the wisest. She called me and asked for more details. Long story short, I ended up admitting that over the weekend I procrastinated and that procrastination is intentionally putting something off, so Rueben was right and I was wrong.

I sent Rueben an e-mail apologizing for getting so angry with him and saying he was right and I was wrong. But here is that part that is astounding. He did not say "See. I told you so." He graciously, humbly accepted my apology for getting angry, and then he apologized for unintentionally hurting me. Humility is a protective shield in the battle we call life. Because we were both humble, God blessed us with a profound feeling of closeness this afternoon when all this went down via BlackBerry.

Staying Connected

My husband and I have very demanding schedules, but we always strive to make time for each other. Last night, I stayed up to watch "Two and a Half Men" and "Friends" reruns. Meanwhile, he went to bed. But first, we spent quality time together watching, and discussing the last hour of "The Apprentice." Why the last hour? Because during the first hour of his show, I am watching my show. On Sundays, he watches "The Apprentice" from 9-11 p.m., while I watch "Desperate Housewives," from 9-10 p.m. At 10 p.m., I join him. We always kiss, hold hands, talk, hug, and caress each other while watch television together, and last night was no exception. We both are so grateful to God for each other, and strive to let each other know how much we cherish each other every chance we get. Or should I say every chance we CREATE. You have to quite literally MAKE love. Not only in bed, but in every day interactions as often as possible.

This morning, as usual, Rueben's schedule was quite different from my schedule. He got up very early, at 6:30 to go meet Ivanka Trump for a session. She is one of his clients. Anyway, any time he gets up early, no matter how drowsy I am, I always make an effort to hug and kiss him good morning, before I roll over and continue dreaming. Little gestures like that go a long way, believe me. They help us to stay connected to each other.

Finally, throughout the day, every day, we e-mail each other. I love that we stay connected in this way. Some days, because he has back to back clients, it is the only way we can "talk." I appreciate that in every single message, whether long or brief, Rueben always signs his messages, "Love, Rueben." Again, we cherish each other, and look for opportunities to let each other know.