Just the Nearness of Him

This morning, from about 10 a.m. until about 12 or so, I spent time sending networking e-mails about a big concert I have on June 12th at Drom Bar/Restaurant. What happened was late last night, just before going to bed, I painstakingly sent about 50 or 60 individual messages about my show. So this morning, many responses were waiting for me. Anyway, once all the networking was out of the way, it was time to do something that I was a bit intimidated by: read, at a very fast pace, the course material in preparation for my New York State Life and Health licensing exam. I was scared because although I have eleven years experience as a literacy expert, I read surprisingly slowly and methodically and usually need to re-read something a few times to understand and remember it well. But I decided to pick up the pace to cut the prep time for my exam in half.

You know how Sarah Palin likes to mention that Todd (her husband) and God give her strength? I can relate to her in this regard. I have the same impression of Rueben and God. Unfortunately they don't rime. so it doesn't have the same ring to it. God helped me with his comforting presence to read faster and retain what I was reading this afternoon. But it was also the comforting presence of my husband, who, thank goodness, did not have any clients today, and thus was in the house, that made a big difference in my studies. He wasn't even on the same floor, much less the same room, but he helped me to persevere. I thank God and I thank him because today's chapter took half the time to read than is typical for me, but I got a score of 80% on the chapter test (passing is 70). It was just the nearness of him that helped me have such an encouraging outcome. I am so grateful to God and Rueben for their help this afternoon.

In Action and in Truth

Today was a big day for me. I had an important presentation in midtown. I prepared intellectually, spiritually, and physically. I was ready. Before leaving the house my husband and I prayed about my presentation. He encouraged me and I left the house with a boost of confidence that comes from both Christ and my husband having my back. Well, the presentation was wonderful. Fantastic. As soon as it was over, I pulled out my BlackBerry to tell my husband and my circle of close friends the great news via a triumphant e-mail. Guess who was the first person to write back congratulating me? You guessed it. Rueben knows exactly how to love deeply from the heart. There is a scripture in the bible that commands us to not love in word and tongue, but with actions and in truth. That is the way he loves me and that is the way I love him back. I told him how much it means to me that he is cheering for me and wanting me to do not just well, but phenomenal. And it did not just stop with e-mails on our BlackBerries. We spoke about it too. He was brimming with happiness for me and I was so appreciative of his support. He made a big day for me into a great day for US. My triumphs are his triumphs. And his victories are my victories. We are one.

My Hero

I just spent six and a half hours writing a project for my best client. Thank God I did a great job on it. It was tough at first, and I feared I would grow weary or lose heart, But I am a person of my word. If I tell my husband that I will do something, I like that he can count on me to do as I said I would do. So, to push myself to do the project in a single day, I told him my plans to keep me accountable. He brings out the best in me. Some other husband out there would just not be right for me. He wouldn't help me to feel amazing by getting difficult tasks completed ahead of schedule and under budget. So I would just like to say, thank you God that I can be all that I can possibly be, with the help of God and my wonderful husband Rueben. I used to warn him about working too hard. But now I have joined him and its great. I love ending the day knowing how many worthwhile things I accomplished. He is my hero. Rueben is the wind beneath my wings. I know he feels the same way about me. We encourage and even push each other towards accomplishments. Being with me, makes him better, and being with him, makes me better. I would just like to close by saying that last night when he came home, he greeted me with my favorite flowers, sunflowers. And later that night he rocked my world. Ah, romance! Great, huh?

Still Dating

I was just thinking about my husband and looking forward to seeing him tonight, and it hit me--I have the same level of excitement and anticipation now that I used to have when we first started dating. I am so glad about that. I never ever want to get to comfortable or take him for granted. I think the moment you become too comfortable or take your husband for granted is the moment you open yourself to trouble. I am happy to report that he feels the same excitement about me too. What is our secret? We both make a conscious decision every day to make each other a priority. My heart started beating faster when I read an e-mail that he sent to me telling me when he would be home.

I must partly credit my parents for the way my husband and I prioritize each other. They are quite a model to emulate. My dad met my mom and just a few weeks later, he proposed. Decades later, they are still romantic, they are still very much in love. He sings to her. He gives her cards. He gives her flowers. She cooks for him. It is a beautiful thing, what they have together. My husband and I admire their relationship, and strive to always keep our romance fresh, just as they do. We pray for each other, pray with each other. We cuddle. We express kind words. We work at our love every day because we want to keep our love strong and growing, living and active. So do whatever you can to keep your fire burning. You will be glad you did.

In short, we act like we are still dating. We act like we are still trying to win each other over.

Don't Stay Angry

I apologize for not writing anything last night. I was distracted.

What happened was I got extremely angry at my husband when he called to wish me good night. It is a long story, but suffice it to say I disagreed with his entering into a contract with a friend who has a track record of being unreliable. By the end of our conversation, my husband agreed with me, but I had to expend a lot of energy to convince him. I got turned off that it took so much effort. Soon after that, I went to sleep. I totally forgot about blogging. I will try to not let that happen again.

It is just as well. Who knows what I would have written. At least in the light of a new day, I can say that he apologized to me for upsetting me and I have accepted his apology. It is important to forgive quickly. That is the lesson here. And I acknowledged that the friend is a valued friend, but I also made it clear that he has proven himself unreliable on at least three other occasions, so my husband will never enter into another agreement with him that involves money. I appreciate that we could resolve this situation. He is a wonderful husband.

Pillow Talk

First, I must apologize. I forgot to write this until just now. I got out of our warm bed, and am anxious to get back. First, though, I must extol the virtues of pillow talk. Rueben and I both have extremely demanding schedules. Often, like today, we start and end the day together, but have our own separate responsibilities to attend to during the rest of the time. So those quiet moments together in the dark when, as Sting would sing, "You and I are lovers. And night enfolds around our bed. In peace, we sleep entwined. And your love flows through." Or another song, "Precious and few are the moments we two can share." The time at the end of the day, when we tenderly embrace in our bed is sacred and profound. I cherish those times. We kiss, we stoke each other's backs or legs, or I squeeze Rueben's butt, or stroke his hair. And we talk to each other quietly. It is so special. It is our way of saying, missed ya today, hon. How did everything go? Even if we are tired, we try never to miss this pillow talk. BlackBerries are fantastic, but nothing can ever take the place of body heat.

Bind each other's wounds

My husband Rueben and I both had a busy, stressful week, trying to get everything done on our respective itineraries. Each did not want to worry the other, so we minimized the seriousness of our state of mind. But this evening over the roast turkey, brown rice, and hearty salad, that I made with love, we confided in each other the extent of our disquietedness. Then we physically and psychologically embraced again and again. The warmth of our embrace healed our wounds. Then we were better able after dinner to take a brief break from the many things we still had to do. We took a moment to sit in the love seat in our living room and listen to the first two movements of Wolgang Amadeus Mozart's Requiem Mass. I sang the soprano part. It was a healing and powerful few minutes. Never underestimate the power of a warm, reassuring embrace, a few considerate words, a sacred song, or a neck massage (gave him a neck message while he washed the dinner dishes). When God created Eve, He introduced her as "a suitable helper" for Adam. It is also written that we are to sharpen each other "as iron sharpens iron." We still have many things to take care of and got right back to work after a brief intimate interlude after dinner. But now the things to be done have been put into perspective, because we have bound each other's wounds.