Serve Each Other

My husband and I take turns serving each other. I fixed breakfast; he did the dishes. I cleared away his dishes at lunch, and he agreed to shop for groceries. I highly recommend acting like this with your wife or husband. It is a beautiful way to express love, not in word or tongue, but with actions and in truth.

Give Your Spouse Space

When Rueben came home from work, we talked briefly, kissed a lot, then he announced he was going downstairs to read. Any time that I want to be alone, he has no problem with it, so I decided to return the favor. He asked if it was okay with me, and I answered in the affirmative. I was tempted to go look for him, but I know that if I were in his shoes, I would not like that, so I did not do rhat. Instead, I just went about my business until he came back upstairs.

Let Your Marriage's Light Shine

I am fully persuaded that Rueben is the best husband in the world. So I am very proud of his status and share stories and comments about him every chance I get. Our marriage is luminous and I let that light shine brightly. A friend of ours at church has told us again and again what an example our relationship and what a delight it is to be around us. The thing is, we act around each other alone the same way we act around each other in a crowd. We respect each other, enjoy each other's company, love to laugh, and love to show each other affection. We talk easily about anything, whether politics, sports, money, our relationship with God, anything at all.

I recently started a career in the male-dominated field of financial services. So I spend my days with men, men, more men, and a few women. It is the kind of environment that would be a single girl's dream. But as a married lady, I have made it clear that Rueben is the one for me. I have mentioned him several times, and also have prominently displayed a photo of us at our wedding reception,along with
several romantic presents on my desk that he gave me for our first anniversary, which was on September 19th. I have done this so everyone knows I am definitely off the market and that love is a beautiful thing. Now that I have finally found a great love, I want everyone else to find it too.

Celebrate

Rueben and spent last weekend having one celebration after another. Friday was my birthday and Sunday was our first wedding anniversary. We went to Al Di La on Friday, the Citrus Grill (the site of our first date) on Saturday, and Battery Park Gardens (the restaurant that handled our rehearsal dinner and wedding reception) on Sunday. We also went to a concert on Sunday. And on Saturday, we exchanged anniversary presents. It was great to celebrate together all weekend long. We are both so happy that God put us in each other's lives. After a year of marriage and three years together, we still act like we just met. We are extremely affectionate and warm towards each other.

Keep in Touch

A few moments can go a long way. My husband and I both have extremely demanding schedules, but we always take a few moments throughout the day to reach out to each other. We e-mail each other about how our day is unfolding via our BlackBerries. If things are great we cheer each other on, and if things are not going well we spur each other on. It is so great that we can touch base this way and stay in touch with each other.

Be Considerate

Despite having a restful sleep last night, I woke up this morning feeling groggy. First, I hit the snooze button and rolled over. Then, I sat up in bed and mindlessly watched television for a few minutes. Usually, on Sundays, I am downstairs in the kitchen, preparing breakfast by about 8:40 a.m. But today, at that time, I was still trying to wake up. My husband became concerned and came looking for me. I explained I was having a hard time getting up. So he prepared breakfast and washed the dishes afterwards. This was so loving and caring and considerate of him. You see, we have a deal that whomever cooks, does not have to clean up, but he did both with joy and no hesitation. I thank God for such a wonderful husband! No matter what your arrangement is for the division of labor, be open to making adjustments to be considerate.

Say What You Need

Something spiritually and emotionally devastating just happened to me. It made me feel lost and alienated. I reached out to my husband for help dealing with it. He tried his best to help, but almost everything he tried just fell flat. At this point, some women would have just given up, thinking, "he just doesn't understand me." I was tempted to shut down and give up, but I knew that would hurt us both. So instead, I shared with him what I needed. We had a really great conversation about it and I also wrote to him about it. Now he understands what I need in case anything devastating like what happened ever recurs. So if you need something, speak up and say what you need. Do not expect your wife or husband to read your mind or figure it out. Help her or him to meet your needs. That way you feel understood, and your spouse will have the satisfaction of being supportive.

Let Romance Carry You Away!

This afternoon, Rueben and I let romance simply carry us away to some dreamlike state where everything was beautiful and nothing was impossible! We went to Bella Cucina for espesso, then went to the Cooper Hewitt Museum. We hugged, carressed, kissed, and held hands so often that it was impossible to count. We had an amazing time. After several years together, we still act like we just met.

Be Out and About

Never become that boring couple who falls into a predictable and complacent routine of staying in all the time. Instead, make and keep plans to be out and about. For instance, we went out with my cousin and his girlfriend to our favorite restaurant last night. Today, we went with my girlfriend to my favorite brunch spot, and tomorrow we are going to the Cooper Hewitt Museum. Sometimes, we just take a walk in the neighborhood. Other times, we go to a baseball game. We go out as often as we can. It keeps our relationship as fresh and stimulating as when we just met.

Be a Cheerleader!

Three really wonderful things recently happened in my life. I passed a challenging state exam, I found a new career, and I made up with my best friend after we had a sharp disagreement that threatened our relationship. I was extremely happy about all three. But Rueben was even more excited than I was! He told me how happy he is for me and how excited he is for me, and how he knows how much each thing means to me. So if your husband or wife has a victory or victories, share in his or her happiness! It will be very appreciated.

Do More Than Necessary

Recently, I e-mailed my husband asking him to bring home milk and, if he could find one, a new can opener. I added that the can opener was not urgent, so if he couldn't find one, that was okay. Despite my saying it was okay not to buy a new can opener, he bought one anyway. I was so touched that he went the extra mile. Some men wouldn't have made the effort. It is great to do more than necessary to show how much you love someone. Great and very appreciated.