Keep Laughing

The other day, early in the morning, I was doing some work in my home office. As I was working, my husband woke up, came and kissed me, then jumped in the shower. At first I just heard water running. Soon, however, I heard a bizarre sound. Every couple of minutes, I heard my husband cracking up laughing. I thought to myself, "What is so funny? What is he laughing at?" Then I dismissed the thought, and went back to work. But after several minutes of listening to this mysterious laughter, I couldn't take it any more. I went to investigate. I went to the bathroom door and asked him what in the world was so funny. I said (kidding of course) it sounded like he was not alone in there. It sounded like he was having an affair! Then he explained the strange laughter. He said he was reliving a bunch of funny tweets about the hit show, "Scandal," a show we both watch together on Thursday nights. I thought to myself, "Alrighty then." He is a strange one, he is. But I am strange too, so we are a good match. His laughter makes me laugh too. I appreciate that about him.

Just Like the First

I wrote a song about my husband, when we were dating and I realized he is "the one." My favorite part of the song goes "Every time we kiss is just like the first. When I'm in your arms I feel I could just burst. I do, I do for better or worst. Your love makes me love you." I sang it to him on our wedding day, four years ago today, as part of my wedding vows. I still feel the same way today. Kissing him never gets old. Being with him is a blessing from above. Our love grows and gets stronger with each passing hour, each passing day, each passing year. The past four years have been fantastic. I am looking forward to sixty more! And I am blessed that he feels the same way about me. He doesn't hesitate to both show how much I mean to him and tell me as well.

Nip An Affair In the Bud

Affairs don't just happen out of the blue. They creep up, sneak up, in subtle ways. Knowing this, when I recently got attracted to someone other than my husband, I told my husband about it right away. I wanted it out in the open, not in the shadows. In the shadows it could grow from thoughts to actions.

Shower Your Spouse With Sincere Appreciation

This morning, my bass player sent me his transcription of a piece of my music. I had trouble saving it and printing it. I tried to no avail for several minutes. Then I asked my husband to help. He was able to do fairly easily what I just couldn't. Afterwards I thanked him profusely and gave him a passionate kiss. He was very happy to receive my praise. And while he was helping me, I made sure to ask if it was a convenient time. I strive to never ever take him for granted. This is the sort of thing that can keep our romance alive. I treat him years later like I did when we first met.

Speak Up Right Away

One thing I have always appreciated about my husband in the six years since we first met, is that if there is anything on my mind, I can always feel free to bring it up. And if there is anything on his mind, I know he will bring it up. In this way, we avoid the quiet reservations that lead to resentments many other couples experience. Sometimes, this straightforward communication is uncomfortable. Sometimes it is inconvenient. But then we consider the alternative and we speak up. The alternative is that what was small becomes big. What was minor becomes completely out of hand. What was just something to be brought up in passing, becomes something that cannot be discussed without the presence of a therapist. Recently, something bothered me. I brought it up right away before it became a big deal. This is how we roll. I love this about us. I wouldn't have it any other way. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Stay Together When Apart

My husband and I have been apart all week because he has been in Connecticut on business, while I have been holding down the fort in New York. But even though there have been miles between us, we have remained close nevertheless. The way we have done this is by making frequent communication a top priority. We have e mailed each other and also spoken on the phone a great deal. Of course there is no substitute for seeing each other in person, but when this is not possible, it helps to do the next best thing as much as we possibly can. We have checked in with each other about our day, our thoughts our triumphs, our challenges, all the while being each other's support.

Remember What Matters Most

In the days leading up to Valentine's Day, I decided to take the pressure off my husband to make some grand romantic movie moment. I told him that instead of going to a super exclusive super fancy super expensive restaurant, I wanted to go to a nice, yet simple, inexpensive one instead. Times are tough. Money is tight. I couldn't see spending hundreds on a single evening. For what? To impress whom? We had a lovely evening at the inexpensive place. Our time together was no less special, no less romantic, no less memorable, than at the fancy place that would have been my choice if money were no object. We talked. We smiled. We laughed. We embraced. We kissed. We told each other that we love each other. It was magical. And it was a fraction of the cost. And because it was right in our neighborhood, we were quickly home enjoying a romantic interlude instead of fighting our way through the holiday traffic. The next day, I publicly thanked my husband for making our Valentine's Day so special. I announced on Facebook what a great time I had and he responded publicly that it was just as special for him as it had been for me. It was like we had just met and were newly in love! So on Valentine's Day, or any other special day, remember what matters most: your love for each other, not the amount of money spent, but the quality of your time together.

Keep It Spicy

Like millions of women and some men, I have been making my way through the Fifty Shades Trilogy. What an exciting series. If you haven't read these books, I highly recommend them. They are Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, and Fifty Shades Freed, by E.L. James. The trilogy is an erotic love story. What spicy sexual encounters are described! They bring back memories of when I was single and sowing my wild oats. I used to spank one of my exes. But that is another story. While I was reading the first book in the trilogy, I spoke to my husband about what I was reading. The next thing I knew, he told me that he had a Fifty Shades app on his smartphone and he wanted to explore it with me. What a fun sex game it is! I feel like we just started dating. It has really spiced things up! So look for ways to keep it spicy. Connecting sexually is not the most important aspect of a relationship. Absolutely not. However, it does matter. That is for sure!