Saturday, January 29, 2011

Pay Attention

This morning, my husband told me he was leaving for the gym. I said "Okay," but frowned. Realizing my frown meant I wanted to go too, he asked a moment later if I wanted to go with him. I smiled and said "Yes." I later praised him for being so attentive to my feelings. Many men miss their women's cues and signs, leading to hurt feelings. The rare man, like mine, notices the little things and takes action.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Be a Helper!

When the Lord created Eve, he referred to her as a "suitable helper." You and your spouse should make every effort to be helpful to each other. Rueben and I have a large capacity washer and dryer in our house, but because Rueben wants to help me, he pays someone else to do the laundry and leaves me free to do other things that I need and want to accomplish. Yesterday night, after we left a party, we went to pick up his laundry. I helped him carry it upstairs.

And as for that party, he helped me by going to it even though he was tired from a long day meeting with his clients. I made sure to let him know how much I appreciated his sacrifice for my sake. I don't mind going to a party alone, but much prefer sharing the experience with him. Knowing that, he made an effort to participate.

A friend recently called us the Martinez/Hopkins team. And that is a perfect description of us. We look out for each other and work together to be stronger as a team than either one of us could be alone.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Share New Experiences

Yesterday evening, Rueben and I took a tango lesson. We are both new to the tango, and it was our third lesson together. Discovering a new activity together is so fun and rewarding. In between dancing, we kiss and snuggle. Our instructor thinks we are sweet. I have wanted to learn how to tango for years and am ecstatic to be sharing this dream come true activity with my dream come true husband. When we were in the process of preparing our hearts, minds, souls, and spirits for marriage, one thing we were advised to do by one of our pastors was learn something new together. Now that we are following that advice, I finally understand why. It is drawing us closer and making us appreciate each other even more than we already did. Before we got married, we decided the new thing would be opera, but we have yet to go to the opera together. Perhaps we will later this year. For now, as we dance together, we will tango our way more deeply into each other's hears.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Find Ways to Stay Connected

One of my new year's resolutions is to go to bed early and get out of bed early. This sleeping and rising schedule is very different from my husband's schedule and makes staying connected a challenge. But we both rise to the challenge and meet the challenge head on. During the day, we e-mail each other about what is going on in our day (e mailing is especially easy for us because between us, we have three BlackBerries). And the evening, he calls me at home to wish me pleasant dreams. And as much as possible, we cuddle and embrace. As busy as we both are, and as many things tend to be on our itineraries, we always make each other a priority.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Don't Suffer in Silence

Recently, I have been stepping up my game when it comes to cleaning the house. I am very happy about this and even was recently complimented by a guest on my housekeeping skills. This new cleanliness and order make me very happy. But they made it obvious that my husband was unwittingly undermining my efforts. I recently kept finding toothpaste stains in the sink that I had just cleaned. I found it frustrating and suffered in silence, not wanting to be a nag. But suffering in silence started to make me resent him. Once I saw resentment developing, I knew I had to let him know I need him to clean up after himself. I let him know in a gentle way, without naggin him about it. He took care of it right away. I am glad I said something and I am also glad that he responded so quickly.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Share Your Goals

Every January, millions of people evaluate their lives and decide to change things via new year's resolutions. Many fail to fulfill these resolutions but many succeed. The ones who succeed tend to be the ones who shared their goals and dreams with someone they trust. In my case, I shared many of my resolutions with my husband and he has been very encouraging and supportive of my efforts. Likewise, I have encouraged him to join me on my journey to a new, improved me. In this way, we can keep each other accountable and on track.