Monday, June 7, 2010

Don't Be THAT Person

One of the reasons Rueben and I get along so wonderfully is I let him do his thing, and he let's me do my thing. I will give you an example. Last night when he got home, my first priority was to let him know how glad I was to see him. I kept kissing him and flirting with him for several minutes. But then, I let him know that I was in the middle of doing some work for a client and needed to get back to work. He didn't complain one bit. He said he was going to watch sports. I didn't complain one bit. This is how we roll. You don't want to be that needy person saying, "spend time with me!" You will naturally spend some time together and enjoy each other's company. But it is just as natural to spend time apart on individual interests and commitments. I will give you another example. One of our favorite restaurants of all time is La Moutarde in Park Slope, Brooklyn. We have had many wonderful times there. Over the past few months, they have been closed for rennovations. I have been in touch with the owner, who is a dear friend of ours, asking for updates on the grand reopening. Finally, we got word that they are reopening today. But Rueben is not free till 9 and I am performing live at Birdland at around 10:30, and I am meeting my trumpet player at 9:30. So, I am having dinner at La Moutarde in the early evening, while my husband will be there late evening. We will see each other after my performance and compare notes! It is good to have a balance between time together and time apart. And it is always so romantic and lovely when we finally do have time alone together. It takes a special bond to have a connection like ours when our moments together are precious and few. And we have that special bond. The funny thing about tonight, is I think we will both feel a deep connection from both being at one of our favorite places, where we have had many happy memories, even though tonight we won't be together until quite late. I used to be in a very clingy, co-dependent, unhealthy relationship during which my ex would freak out any time I wanted to do something alone or with the girls. I no longer have that problem.

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